Walked off the bandstand at a jam session

[martinbr]

Hello eveyone,

I haven't been here for awhile but had to vent some frustration with
me trying to learn how to play.

I was at my nightly jazz session tonight. After a couple of drummers
got up I was asked to play one. They rotated musicians and I can tell
by who was getting up I was in for trouble. There are some really top
notch players at this session but this was a amature situation.
Including me.

I have been playing for a long time but put the drums down for almost
twenty years with just a little playing in between. I have now been
playing as much as I can including some rehearsal bands.

But his was so terrible and the tempo was dragging so much because of
the bass player and especially the piano player dragging. I can play
with strong musicians but have a hard time with weaker ones.

It was a disaster. Right in the middle of the tune I stopped to get
the time back on track because of the fucked up piano player. I
decided it just wasn't worth it and casually got up off the drumset
and signaled for the house drummer to take the rest of the tune over
in which he did a better job than me holding this sinking ship.

I was pissed and humilated at the same time because the good players
know that I can play with the right combination. But I just can't hold
up weak players.

So I have decided to either back out of jam sessions for awhile or at
least wait and see who is going to play what, and if I don't feel
comfortable with the combination of players is to pass the torch to
someone else instead of getting up there and botch the whole tune. I
just don't feel good about my playing when this happens. I am really
better in rehearsal situations than jam sessions. You just don't know
what your going to get.

Anyone else ever walked off the stage in a middle of a tune? Just
curious.

[Frisbieinstein]

Post by martinbr
Hello eveyone,
I haven't been here for awhile but had to vent some frustration with
me trying to learn how to play.
I was at my nightly jazz session tonight. After a couple of drummers
got up I was asked to play one. They rotated musicians and I can tell
by who was getting up I was in for trouble. There are some really top
notch players at this session but this was a amature situation.
Including me.
I have been playing for a long time but put the drums down for almost
twenty years with just a little playing in between. I have now been
playing as much as I can including some rehearsal bands.
But his was so terrible and the tempo was dragging so much because of
the bass player and especially the piano player dragging. I can play
with strong musicians but have a hard time with weaker ones.
It was a disaster. Right in the middle of the tune I stopped to get
the time back on track because of the fucked up piano player. I
decided it just wasn't worth it and casually got up off the drumset
and signaled for the house drummer to take the rest of the tune over
in which he did a better job than me holding this sinking ship.
I was pissed and humilated at the same time because the good players
know that I can play with the right combination. But I just can't hold
up weak players.
So I have decided to either back out of jam sessions for awhile or at
least wait and see who is going to play what, and if I don't feel
comfortable with the combination of players is to pass the torch to
someone else instead of getting up there and botch the whole tune. I
just don't feel good about my playing when this happens. I am really
better in rehearsal situations than jam sessions. You just don't know
what your going to get.
Anyone else ever walked off the stage in a middle of a tune? Just
curious.

I play bass and once at a jam session the guitar player wanted me to
play a vamp in E. I got up, walked off the stage, and never played a
jam session on bass again. Playing vamps behind shitty guitar players
is just too boring.

Before that I dutifully played behind two long solos by shit
guitarists. Then when I started my solo the oblivious first guitarist
played over it and I had to give up. That really sucked.

[Sean Conolly]

Post by martinbr
Hello eveyone,
But his was so terrible and the tempo was dragging so much because of
the bass player and especially the piano player dragging. I can play
with strong musicians but have a hard time with weaker ones.
It was a disaster. Right in the middle of the tune I stopped to get
the time back on track because of the fucked up piano player. I
decided it just wasn't worth it and casually got up off the drumset
and signaled for the house drummer to take the rest of the tune over
in which he did a better job than me holding this sinking ship.
I was pissed and humilated at the same time because the good players
know that I can play with the right combination. But I just can't hold
up weak players.

With good players, you play with each other. There's a palbable tension to
the groove, and each of you can feel every little tug by everyone else.

With not-so-good players, you just have to be the human metronome / director
and drag them along. Take a lot of the fun out, but it's typical with most
of the bar bands I play in.

That said I did have one performance years ago as a piano & drums duo in the
pit with a dozen singer/dancers on stage, and the fill in piano gal simply
could not follow a beat (solo lounge player). Halfway through the second act
I finally gave up - and while playing reached over and closed the lid over
her keys (she got the hint). Finished out the act with just drums and voice,
but at least we could finish!

So no, I've never walked out like that but I guess I have fired someone in
the middle of a set.

Sean

[gpsman]

Post by martinbr
Anyone else ever walked off the stage in a middle of a tune? Just
curious.

Never. I didn't even know it was an option.
-----

- gpsman

[Benj]

Post by martinbr
Anyone else ever walked off the stage in a middle of a tune? Just
curious.

Never.  I didn't even know it was an option.

It's not. It's called "unprofessional behavior" [usually reserved for
guitarist and singers] and too much of it gets you blackballed from
all decent gigs in your town.

[Tom]

So what?

[anonymous]

It's a jam, chill out! I've never walked in such a situation, but I
can't say that others may not have walked on me. <g> I'm a vdrum
leftie, that doesn't touch an acoustic kit except for a jam visit. The
kits there look like trampolines, each in different zipcodes, after a
decade on a tightly coupled ekit.

I take that back, I did stop mid-set, at a jam of mostly country
tunes. Not because I dislike country, but simply because I didn't know
the tunes as well as the others players. And they were very very good.
So, I just didn't want to corrupt their experience.

It's all for fun. I think if you're not having fun, or the other
players are not enjoying your ability, you should either go somewhere
else. Or, ask to play with the individuals for which you have comfort.

[JMM]

Never, never, never, let your ego in the way and walk off the stage. It's
only one song man. Life is too short to take yourself so seriously. You
mentioned you are an amateur. Imagine if folks better than you walked off
and left you there becasue of your skills. You should be ashamed of
yourself.

Post by anonymous
It's a jam, chill out! I've never walked in such a situation, but I
can't say that others may not have walked on me. <g> I'm a vdrum
leftie, that doesn't touch an acoustic kit except for a jam visit. The
kits there look like trampolines, each in different zipcodes, after a
decade on a tightly coupled ekit.
I take that back, I did stop mid-set, at a jam of mostly country
tunes. Not because I dislike country, but simply because I didn't know
the tunes as well as the others players. And they were very very good.
So, I just didn't want to corrupt their experience.
It's all for fun. I think if you're not having fun, or the other
players are not enjoying your ability, you should either go somewhere
else. Or, ask to play with the individuals for which you have comfort.

[oldschool]

I can relate to the frustration, but I'm with JMM, you can never ever
ever simply get up and walk off in the middle of a tune. Even if it
sucks. You have to hang in and do your best. If it's really just not
happening, for whatever reason, wait for the end of the tune, say
"thanks very much" to everyone, and politely offer the sticks and drum
chair back to your host.

Situations like this do come up now and then for everyone, in jam
sessions and otherwise. What I suggest when this happens is just to
strip what you're playing down to the simplest thing you can possibly
do. For jazz, just play quarter notes on the ride and 2 and 4 on the
hat. Maybe feather 4 on the kick, if that suits the style. Just give
everybody else a very very clear and unambiguous indication of where
*you* are feeling the time. If they take the opportunity to dial back
and lock in with you, great. If not, it won't be any worse than what
is already going on, and will probably be at least a little bit
better.

BTW that suggestion applies whether the other guy is the guy that is
floundering, or whether you are the guy floundering. Dial back until
everyone can hear what everyone else is feeling.

Drums are a rhythm section instrument. Holding up weaker players is a
big part of the job. It'd be great if everyone was always wonderful,
but that ain't the reality. You can't walk off mid-tune, ever.

Good luck and keep trying!

Never, never, never, let your ego in the way and walk off the stage.  It's
only one song man.  Life is too short to take yourself so seriously.  You
mentioned you are an amateur.  Imagine if folks better than you walked off
and left you there becasue of your skills.  You should be ashamed of
yourself.

[Sean Conolly]

Post by anonymous
It's a jam, chill out! I've never walked in such a situation, but I
can't say that others may not have walked on me. <g> I'm a vdrum
leftie, that doesn't touch an acoustic kit except for a jam visit. The
kits there look like trampolines, each in different zipcodes, after a
decade on a tightly coupled ekit.

Sitting in on a kit that's completely different is always tough, and you
just have to scale back your fills to what's reachable. I've had lefties sit
in on my kit, but with a double bass pedal and drop clutch they simply
played the kick on the left pedal and left the hi-hat closed.

Post by anonymous
I take that back, I did stop mid-set, at a jam of mostly country
tunes. Not because I dislike country, but simply because I didn't know
the tunes as well as the others players. And they were very very good.
So, I just didn't want to corrupt their experience.

Part of being a musician is being able to figure out *something* to play on
material you don't know. It's great way to work on your musical instinct -
listening for approaching changes while without focusing too much on what
you're playing at the moment.

That said, if it's really uncomfortable and there's another drummer waiting,
hand off the throne in between songs.

Post by anonymous
It's all for fun. I think if you're not having fun, or the other
players are not enjoying your ability, you should either go somewhere
else. Or, ask to play with the individuals for which you have comfort.

Just remember that getting outside your comfort zone is the fastest way to
learn what you really can do. Give it hell and don't give up - they'll ask
you to step down if it's really offensive.

Sean